Two Births, Two lives

Maternity In Myanmar Vs. Malaysia

Asma Bibi had her first baby in Myanmar 14 years ago, she was 22 years old, and everything had been entirely different. “That time, I was younger. I had more energy,” Asma Bibi recalled. 

She delivered her first baby at her mother’s home, surrounded by her mother, sister-in-law, and other close female relatives. She stayed there for the two months that followed, and the dearest women in her life “would give me a massage, make food, and care for the baby.”

In Malaysia, Asma Bibi gave birth in a hospital alone. The Breathe Life doulas were with her every step of the way, except for the actual birth, per Malaysian public hospital policy. 

She attended antenatal and post-natal classes, as well as the “First 1000 Days” program, learning how babies develop through hearing, sight, smell, and touch—and why talking to them matters even in the womb. With Breathe Life, she could prepare for the long-awaited baby that she “gave up on ever coming.”

“I learned how 80% of a baby’s brain develops in the first 1,000 days,” she explained. “I didn’t know that before.” Asma Bibi also mentioned learning new things about the benefits of breastfeeding, family planning, and post-natal recovery time.

Part of the instruction for new mothers includes what kind of practical and relational support a woman needs after birth. This information was not new for Asma Bibi. She knows better than most how the first 1000 days of motherhood are supposed to go for a Rohingya woman — when villages are not burned, neighbors are not attacked, and when family is not scattered across the continent.

Asma Bibi was deeply thankful for her niece and a Breathe Life doula, Dee, who walked her through her labor, checked her contractions, monitored the baby’s heartbeat, and drove her to the hospital at the right time. Asma Bibi stayed overnight and was discharged the next day, while Dee stayed as close to her side as she legally could and called her frequently to check in.

“Everything went smoothly,” Dee reported, “but she misses her mom.”

But even with this support, and after years living in the country,  Malaysia didn’t feel like home. “In Myanmar, you’re surrounded by family. Here, no one can really help. It’s different,” Asma Bibi said. 

The age gap between her children mirrors the long, complicated journey of displacement. Asma Bibi is one of the few mothers at Breathe Life who has given birth in both Myanmar and Malaysia. That dual perspective gives her a quiet authority. Her first child was born with the help of a village midwife. Her second came after a decade of uncertainty, across borders and years of waiting. 

When we asked Asma Bibi whether she preferred giving birth at home or in the hospital, she smiled sweetly at her sleeping newborn in the corner of the room, and her eyes welled up with tears. She answered simply: “In Myanmar, it was easier. I had my mother.”